Graphic by Byron Libresco for Theogony.
Over the last week, 18 students have been apprehended attempting to skip their class at the King St. campus during the transition to Minnie Howard. Administrators are still trying to find the motives of these students.
“I don’t know what they were possibly trying to accomplish,” said Security Guard Noh K. Lue.
Luckily, Theogony was able to get an exclusive interview with one apprehended student about his motive. Junior Ido “Skipp” Hing says that his plan was to “skip to skip.” When we asked him what that meant, he refused further comments. Afterwards, he was promptly escorted away by an administrator. A frantic shouting match ensued, and Hing continued to argue with the administrator until he abruptly stopped yelling midway through his sentence.
Theogony theorizes that students are finding skipping at King St. easy and want more of a challenge. King St. English teacher, Martha Martin said “I used to get ding dong ditched every class period, but now it seems they have migrated to Minnie Howard.”
These 18 students were apprehended because of a practice that Minnie Howard campus administrators put in place earlier this year. Upon entering the campus, students are required to show administrators their Powerschool schedule on their phone, while also getting yelled at to put away their phones.
Administrator Wyat’sun Derling said, “I don’t see the problem really, students just have to break the laws of physics, and simply superposition their phone into their bag and hand at the same time.”
This is an extremely useful practice that is definitely not a waste of time and has not at all made a single student late to class.
While it may never be known why students are skipping class at King St. in order to roam the halls of Minnie Howard, it is clear that the administrators are breaking out all the stops to halt this heinous practice.