On Sep. 18, 2025, the ACHS students received devastating news that the Wi-Fi password had been changed. Widespread chaos ensued. Students frantically searched for answers, asking if anyone knew the Wi-Fi password. There were reports of students attempting to break into the main office to get the password, but they were quickly reprimanded by school security and suspended.
“How can I open Minga with no Wi-Fi? The signal is already bad in the lunch room, and now the line to get into the cafeteria is taking up my precious lunch time,” said sophomore Early Cedmenson.
Sophomore Lacy Loans said, “What’s this interview about? Wait, do you know the Wi-Fi password? Please, I’m begging you I don’t know if I’ll make it to 7th period without it!”
By B-Lunch, it seemed that the students became accustomed to no Wi-Fi access, as they converted the cafeteria into an old west-style saloon. It was reported that there was an actual time warp to the year 1880, and everyone’s clothes turned into period-accurate dressing. Students played dice games over a firewood-powered stove, while someone was playing a piano they managed to sneak into the cafeteria.
Lunch took a turn for the worse when sophomore Penna Marshall discovered that one student, who requested to stay anonymous, had access to the Wi-Fi. As a result of the student refusing to share the password with her, Marshall challenged them to a duel. The student accepted, and the two prepared for the match.
The air turned dim and smoky as students formed a circle, in anticipation for the duel. However, just as they were about to start, an administrator finally announced what the password was over a megaphone to stop the fighting.“This isn’t over,” said Marshall.
When Theogony asked the other student why they refused to share the password with Marshall, they said, “I do not believe sharing is caring, and I didn’t want to stop playing my game.”
After the students in the cafeteria connected to the Wi-Fi, the time warp reversed and everything transformed back into a modern-day setting just in time for C-Lunch to start. All of the students that now have access to the Wi-Fi are keeping their knowledge a secret, in fear of another duel happening.
Every admin interviewed believed that the events never occurred, and when Theogony explained the witness accounts to them, they only said: “Liar liar pants on fire” before scurrying away.
