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The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

Annotated photo of the increasing number of Peregrine falcons in the King Street cafeteria.

Birds of Prey Seen in Cafeteria

Miles Quini, Staff Writer April 1, 2026

On Wednesday, April 1, students with A lunch at the King Street campus were greeted by the screeches of a Peregrine falcon. One of many birds of prey native to Virginia, this falcon began picking up shorter...

A Yeti terrorizes helpless students at the King Street Campus.

ACPS Announces New Weather Protocols

Max Carpenter April 1, 2026

On Wednesday, April 1, Alexandria City Public Schools Superintendent Melanie Kay-Wyatt announced that the school district has revised its policy covering inclement weather decisions and communications....

Graphic by Russell Gibbs

Theogony Offcially Replaces all Staff With AI

Russell Gibbs, Staff writer March 27, 2026

Alexandria City High School’s very own newspaper Theogony has been actively working throughout the years to spread the issues, accomplishments and inner workings of our school environment. However, Theogony’s...

Poor man being terrorized by known reptilian George W. Bush.

Alternative Facts Advice Column

Oswald Clinton, Truth Seeker October 7, 2025

Cassandra (17 years old): My parents want me to go to an Ivy League college, but I’m not so sure I want to. What should I do? Answer: Dear Cassandra, since you do not seem to have opened your third...

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