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The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

JD Vance stares nervously outside his window as children protest. (Rozalia Finkelstein)

Angry Children Rally With Lightsabers and NERF Guns Outside of V.P. Pick JD Vance’s House

Max Carpenter and Leo Maucieri September 11, 2024

Last Saturday, a large group of toddlers gathered outside of vice presidential candidate and Time magazine’s 2024 “Most Awkward Man in America,” JD Vance’s Alexandria residence. Protests erupted...

This student was spotted at the event.

AP Testing Tricks & Tips

Rozalia Finkelstein May 10, 2024

AP Testing Tricks & Tips   Rozalia Finkelstein    *DISCLAIMER* Following these tips may result in strange visions, supernatural encounters, and possession by unrestful souls. Theogony...

BREAKING: ACHS to be new Bachelor Mansion

BREAKING: ACHS to be new Bachelor Mansion

Julia Gwin, Staff Writer April 29, 2024

The ACHS community is thrilled to announce that our school will be used as the mansion in next year’s season of The Bachelor. As this year’s season comes to a close, Bachelor producers are pleased...

A digitally altered image of two people shrugging in the ACHS hallway.

In Brief: Who’s Coming to ACHS?

Yahney-Marie Sangaré April 9, 2024

Many ACHS students prepared themselves for the spectacular on March 19, 2024, when two VIP guests were set to visit ACHS. Now that the event has passed, who did students think the speaker would be? Rhys...

A photograph depicting a pin labeled “VOTE” on a ballot application

Candidate Scramble: Who Would You Vote For?

Max Carpenter, Staff Writer April 9, 2024

2024 is a presidential election year in the United States. Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee, the current President and the first president to refuse to take a cognitive assessment, is facing off against...

Superintendent Announces Eldritch Safety Measures

Superintendent Announces Eldritch Safety Measures

Yahney-Marie Sangaré, Co-Editor-In-Chief October 23, 2023

At a Friday meeting, ACPS Superintendent Melon Cee-Howatt announced a revised plan for ensuring student safety and security at Alexandria City High School’s King St. Campus that some are calling “unconventional”...

The Teacher Abundance at ACHS

The Teacher Abundance at ACHS

Ermila Mazariegos, Features Editor October 23, 2023

As the new school year begins, students and teachers are more than thrilled to get back into the school groove. Students get to skip class and walk the halls again, teachers get to have one-sided conversations...

Top 5 Uses of the Rooftop Garden: A Theogony Guide

Top 5 Uses of the Rooftop Garden: A Theogony Guide

James Libresco, Editor April 1, 2023
James Libresco guides us through some ~creative~ uses for the ACHS rooftop garden.
Virginia Education Board to Ban Social Studies

Virginia Education Board to Ban Social Studies

Yahney-Marie Sangaré, Editor April 1, 2023
The Virginia Department of Education (VDOE) has announced that Virginia will move forward with a proposed draft of social studies standards that will, in the words of the draft, “just get rid of the dang thing.” This move comes after weeks of intense criticism from stakeholders, parents, teachers, students and academics over the January draft, which controversially included such changes as omitting the words “fascism” and “diversity.”
To Possum Or Not To Possum

To Possum Or Not To Possum

April 1, 2023
We’ve all experienced that moment when you just want to sink into the ground or turn invisible, whether it be from fear or embarrassment. Opossums have the solution for you… playing possum. To play possum means to play dead-as you may have guessed the phrase is derived from the actions of the opossum.
New Schedule, New Curriculum for PRIDE Time in Fourth Quarter

New Schedule, New Curriculum for PRIDE Time in Fourth Quarter

April 1, 2023
The start of the fourth quarter has brought along with it a slightly changed class schedule: instead of having the Titan PRIDE (Positive attitude, Responsibility, Integrity, Determination and Excellence) block with 3R and 4B teachers, ACHS students will instead spend this extra thirty minutes with their 1R and 2B teachers before switching to lunch or their next classes. Additionally, the PRIDE lessons have been replaced with activities from an entirely new curriculum.
Dr. Melon Cee-Howatt Leaves Her Mark on ACHS

Dr. Melon Cee-Howatt Leaves Her Mark on ACHS

April 1, 2023
On March 31, 2023, Superintendent Dr. Melon Cee-Howatt pulled up to ACHS for the first time ever! To many, it came as a shock to see Cee-Howatt step foot in the school. Up until today, Cee-Howatt ever visiting ACHS seemed to be an urban legend created by her senior leadership team. Although the visit was unplanned, students and administrators had a lot to say about the encounter. 
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