After Disney confirmed it was producing a sequel to the hit movie “Remember the Titans,” the cast of the original film returned to Alexandria City High School to gather inspiration and decide which sport to focus the sequel on.

As they walked into the gymnasium, Wood Harris, who received critical acclaim for his portrayal of defensive end Julius Campbell, remarked: “Wow, there are a lot less banners than I was expecting.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’re just renovating,” said Denzel Washington, who played the legendary Coach Boone.

“That’s exactly correct — just a renovation,” said ACHS Assistant Athletics Director Felipe Trampell, who zoomed by on a golf cart so quickly that he was out of sight by the time he finished his sentence.

Destiny Disney, heir to the Disney fortune, redirected the conversation: “Let’s try to think which sport we want the new movie to focus onuhh. We have lots of optionsuhh: there’s football again, but there’s also basketballuh, socceruh, field hockeyuh, normal hockeyuh, rugbyuhhh–”

“What about volleyballlllllllll?” interrupted D’neil Throne, the volleyball coach who hadn’t moved from the administrator chair at the edge of the basketball court since the season ended. “We did win two state championships in three years…”

“Eh. Not a real sport. Overrated aslllll,” said Disney, causing Throne to faint backwards and fall out of her chair for the first time in three weeks.

“As I was saying,” said Disney, “we need to pick a sport for th–”

“Hold on just one minute,” interrupted Washington in a booming Boone voice. “I just looked at the MaxPreps, and, well… let’s just say some of the school’s gifts may have changed.”

“You didn’t see anything,” said Trampell, re-entering the gym on a flying golf cart. “It’s fake… It’s fake. It’s FAKE. The wifi in here doesn’t work anyways.”

“Yes,” said Washington. “I did. Now drop down and give me 50.”

“Yes, sir,” said Trampell.

“NOWWWWWWWWWW,” bellowed Washington.

“As I was saying,” continued Washington, “I know the football team we did way back then was incredible. Just amazing. But I’m on the MaxPreps and now it doesn’t look like that.”

“There’s no way this can be trueuh,” said Disney. “Well. I’m outta hereuh.”

“Me too,” said Trampell, who stood up before immediately returning to pushup position after catching the glare of Washington.

“I just can’t believe it,” said Washington. “The mighty Titans. More like the Ti-Cant’s. I need to catch a breather in the hallway.”

The cast, still gazing starry-eyed at the icon that Washington is, followed him into the back hallway of the gym. But as Washington opened the door, a voice met him.

“Excuse me. Erm, you can’t come in here,” the voice said.

“Who the H-E- double hockey sticks do you think you are,” replied Washington. “Do you even know who you’re talking to?”

“No, but what I do know is that I’m currently refining the hypoquadratic composite delometers of our second incridismentalonium autonomous faro-ship. And I know you need to leave because this is the last test run before we go to Worlds.”

“Well I need some air,” replied Washington, “and that’s more important that your hepocondoctoincrinferoshi–WAIT, did you just say ‘WORLDS?????’”

“Well, yes,” said the voice, who revealed himself to be a demeaning 7-foot, 260-pound, seventh-year super senior in a Titan Robotics hoodie.

“And you mean Worlds,” said Washington. “As in… the World championship?”

“Yes, that’s correct,” said the humongous robotics super senior. “Now can you please get out of the way? This baby is about to launch to Laos.”

“Oh I think I’m in love,” said Washington. “DISNEYYYY, GET BACK HERE.”

“Oh my goduhhhh,” said Disney, in what can only be described as a TikToker-married-to-a-valley-girl accent. “What do you even wantuhhhh? And who is this kiduhhh…”

“This is your next money making star,” said Washington. “I just found your solution. Who needs football when you have robotics?”

“What even is a roboticsuh?” asked Disney.

“Now you better sign him immediately, the biggest contract you have, or I’m calling your daddy,” Washington said.

“If you insistuhhhh,” said Disney.

“Ooooh, I can see it everywhere,” said Washington. “‘Remember the Titans 2: The Robot Takeover.’ Now get me on a jet to Laos.”