[BREAKING] On Tuesday, April 1, Alexandria City High School fell into disarray after a swarm of vampires invaded the King Street campus. Officials are still unsure how and why the takeover occurred, though there have been four students confirmed to be drained, and 13 currently undergoing some sort of vampiric transformation.

Hours after the attack, the school community is left reeling. However, in a message home to families, administration is unclear on how they plan to move forward.

“We have heard your concerns,” said vague administrator #3506. “I know this has been very traumatic for some of you. That being said, we have already scheduled MAP testing for Wednesday and Thursday, so campuses will operate on their normal schedules. Any student that fails to show up tomorrow will be tracked down, dragged to the King Street auditorium and hall swept. For anyone still in need of support, there’s gonna be a grief circle. Or something.”

One student supported the school’s handling of the situation.

“I for one think all they’re doing is really great,” said sophomore Mistress of Torture Ravenna Sybil Shadowfang III. “So a few students are suffering fatal neck wounds, big deal. Why the hostility?” 

Super senior Rablo Pruz Crivera disagreed. 

“Genuinely crazy that I almost got my blood sucked and literally nobody cares,” said Crivera.

Due to ACHS’ no expulsion policy, any and all vampires involved in the incident will be free to return to school after a two day suspension. 

“Dude, what?” said junior Meo Laucieri. “They didn’t even attend this school in the first place. Why are they being let back in?”

When questioned about their controversial choice, ACPS Chief of Supernatural and Community relations Roberta Seth had this to say. 

“Please note that we are very very busy and very very important,” said Seth. “So we can’t help you or answer any questions at this time.”

Despite complaints from students, staff, and basically everyone on earth, ACHS has decided to move forward with their proposed course of action.

“The school has handled this situation with competence and care,” said Shadowfang.