Alexandria City Public Schools recently announced that it is opening another ACHS campus, this time in Zimbabwe. The new ACHS campus will provide classes for 9th-12th graders. For students needing to switch campuses, there will be provided shuttle planes that will conveniently transfer students from Alexandria to Zimbabwe and back.

This new campus will have a guard tower to keep students from leaving the campus before the school day ends, and to prevent any walking. The guards will also force students to board shuttle planes that students will skydive out of to switch campuses between periods, but parachutes will not be provided and must be pre-purchased. If all goes smoothly, students will be able to get home before the end of the next school day. 

Parents and students are enraged about this plan. One parent stated, “I’m not having my son travel to another continent in order to get to math class.” ACPS responded to the frustration by putting out a statement via the social media platform X, saying “We understand everyone’s frustration regarding the plans for a new campus, don’t worry about it. The ACPS school board has thought long and hard about what is most efficient for student performance and we are sure this is it.”

With the addition of a new Zimbabwe campus, new elective courses will be offered such as: Elephant Riding I, AP River Rafting, and Safari Survival I and II. All of these courses will be exclusive to the Zimbabwe campus. 

Teachers and staff are upset with the planned addition of the new campus. “How am I supposed to live in one country and work in another?” one teacher asked. 

ACPS came up with a solution that requires all teachers working in the new campus to be required to live in Zimbabwe.

“This is the future,” said Pirate Finley, chief of academics for the school district. “We are so excited to show how the ACPS campuses will never need to be separated.”