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The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

The Student News Site of Alexandria City High School

Theogony

A Minecraft Movie banner.

Minecraft Movie Causes Mass Migration to West Virginia: “MY SON YEARNS FOR THE MINES!”

The Minecraft Movie’s recent release has fascinated an entire generation of children with coal mining, subsequently causing an influx of adolescents aged 3-19 to migrate to West Virginia, revitalizing...

Trump and Vance uploaded an apology video to YouTube titled "We Messed Up," tagging Zelenskyy in hopes of forgiveness.

Trump and Vance issue apology after watching SEAL Lesson

Julia Gwin, Editor April 7, 2025

In a stunning reversal, President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance apologized to Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the President of Ukraine, for their hostile behavior during an Oval Office meeting in February.  In...

April Fools Objects

April Fools Objects

Rablo Pruz Crivera, Editor April 1, 2025

Students are frightened by recent vampire attacks at ACHS. From left: junior Cax  Marpenter, super senior Rablo Pruz Crivera, junior Meo Laucieri.

Vampires Overtake School, Administration Unphased

Savanah Shadow, Editor April 1, 2025

[BREAKING] On Tuesday, April 1, Alexandria City High School fell into disarray after a swarm of vampires invaded the King Street campus. Officials are still unsure how and why the takeover occurred, though...

Elon Pledges to ‘Make ACHS Great Again’

Elon Pledges to ‘Make ACHS Great Again’

Chester Cheese and Johannes Klip Henrendo April 1, 2025

After wreaking havoc on much of the federal government, Elon Musk, chairman of the Department of Government Efficiency — or DOGE — shared plans to expand DOGE operations to public spaces everywhere...

The battle of Fulsum Puntot, or "Fools' Point." / Image in public domain

History of April Fools

Srsfst Aumith, Staff Writer April 1, 2025

April Fools’ Day is an important holiday that has been celebrated on April 1 ever since the time of the Romans. The day was named after one of the most respected senators in Rome: Johannes Corydon Stultus,...

Nettspend performing at the Filmore in Silver Spring Maryland.

Nettspend Performing at Prom

S. Pend Nets, Staff Writer April 1, 2025

Up and coming rapper Nettspend is set to perform at Alexandria City High School's prom this year. The hype around his name has been building for a few years now, and he’s coming back to Virginia to show...

Student Chester Cheese being chased by ChatGPT / Image generated by artificial intelligence

The Dark Side of AI: Why Artificial Intelligence Is a Threat

Matt G. P. T. and Tota Lee Notai April 1, 2025

Artificial intelligence is often praised as the future of innovation, but beneath its shiny exterior lies a growing list of concerns that could have dangerous consequences for society. From job displacement...

Metal detectors with features like LED lights and velvet rope will be designated for students with the PreCheck.

ACHS to introduce TSA PreCheck

Nadisha Suds, Editor April 1, 2025

At a school board meeting on Mar. 14, ACPS announced that it will be introducing a TSA Precheck program at both campuses. This program will allow students to receive weapons abatement privileges, if they...

Students must use their phones at school now.

Cell Phone Ban Reversal

Sydone Swan, Staff Writer April 1, 2025

Gov. Glenn Youngkin, R-VA, has a feeling Abigail Spanberger, D-VA, will win the gubernatorial race and be the first woman in either party to do so. On Tuesday March 11, in fear of his rival’s victory,...

Remember the Titans 2: The Robot Takeover / Parody image created under fair use doctrine

Remember the Titans Returns

Chester Cheese and Johannes Klip Herendo April 1, 2025

After Disney confirmed it was producing a sequel to the hit movie “Remember the Titans,” the cast of the original film returned to Alexandria City High School to gather inspiration and decide which...

Breaking: Noah Lyles to return to ACHS due to missing credit

Breaking: Noah Lyles to return to ACHS due to missing credit

Julio Jones, Editor April 1, 2025

After Alexandria City High School failed to detect that he lacked an obligatory Physical Education credit upon his graduation in 2016, Noah Lyles must now pass the missing class in order to complete his...

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