Thursday evening, renowned rapper and chronic procrastinator Playboi Carti surprised fans by releasing his third studio album several hours early. Elated supporters from around the world flooded popular...

FAIRLINGTON PROVINCE — The divinely ordained empress and matriarch of the Cee-Howett Dynasty, Melon, has reaffirmed her and her royal court’s universal rule through heavenly correspondence with otherworldly...

Last Saturday, a large group of toddlers gathered outside of vice presidential candidate and Time magazine’s 2024 “Most Awkward Man in America,” JD Vance’s Alexandria residence. Protests erupted...

*DISCLAIMER* Following these tips may result in strange visions, supernatural encounters, and possession by unrestful souls. Theogony takes no responsibility for any side effects experienced.    As...

The ACHS community is thrilled to announce that our school will be used as the mansion in next year’s season of The Bachelor. As this year’s season comes to a close, Bachelor producers are pleased...

Many ACHS students prepared themselves for the spectacular on March 19, 2024, when two VIP guests were set to visit ACHS. Now that the event has passed, who did students think the speaker would be? Rhys...

2024 is a presidential election year in the United States. Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee, the current President and the first president to refuse to take a cognitive assessment, is facing off against...

At a Friday meeting, ACPS Superintendent Melon Cee-Howatt announced a revised plan for ensuring student safety and security at Alexandria City High School’s King St. Campus that some are calling “unconventional”...

As the new school year begins, students and teachers are more than thrilled to get back into the school groove. Students get to skip class and walk the halls again, teachers get to have one-sided conversations...